Scientific Report.
The following scientists and advisors were present for the work……
Dr. Gonad: Liquid intake control . Herbal studies . Qanunism . Oscilloscope.
Experimental accordion sounds. Steel saw vibration experiment.
Prof. Banner: Numbers . Photosynthetic projection . Electric bells . Radar
screens . Reed overtone programme . Fine tuning of radio waves.
Nurse Greenbark: Documentation. Text. Language decoder. Random E.T.A.
Prescriptions. Metallic music box. Harmonic violin. Optical tests.
I.V. Verdi: Neurological expertise . Cranial measurement . Hair colour. Eye
colour. Length of nose. Pathological detective. Violin.
Dr. Punkt: Experiment documentation display . Microtonal suona . Liquid
intake guinea pig. Clave repetition. Aleotoric clarinet.
Senor Emento: Low frequency specialist. Pentatonic banjo. Liaison officer
to Nurse Greenbark. Academic filters. telephone.
Dr. Momosk: Photographic evidence. Public control bureau. Semiotics and
visual linguistics. Breath harmonics. Experimental harp. Water
compression chamber. Scanning.
Uncle Makmed: Supervisor . Metallic resonance control . Magnetic fields .
Japanese child- psychology . Glass vibration . Composition and
deconstruction.
An experiment over two days with two sets of 35 specimen humans, specially selected
according to gender and racial diversity , sexual orientation , body weight, aural skills
and specific randomness.
The laboratory itself chosen for its perfection of size and acoustic properties.
Primary spatial acoustic study in three parts …… Reverberant Sound , Reverberation
Time and Absorption Co-efficients (in Frequency Hz)
Secondary study of Radioactive Decay, Sound and Ultrasound (alpha, beta and gamma)
Study includes wave propagation, radio wave transmission, amplitude, ionisation, slow
moving Doppler effect .
POST SCRIPT : Under strict scientifically objective conditions , the experiment was an
unqualified success. The fruits of the study can be found in coded format on the digital
information disc issued by Forgotten Fish Memory Orchestra under the name ‘If I Had
a Hi-Fi’
